Chapter VII: Nightmares and Daydreams

"Now Isaac pleaded with the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord granted his plea, and Rebekah his wife conceived."

Genesis 25:21

"You scare me with dreams and terrify me with visions."

Job 7:14

"The beauty of a move lies not in its appearance but in the thought behind it."

Grandmaster Aron Nimzowitsch

Chapter VII: Nightmares and Daydreams

The doorbell rang stridently. I got up scared. I checked the clock: 3:33 in the morning. Who could it be at that hour? Maybe it was a drunken neighbor or a visitor knocking on a wrong door. Maybe it was a dream... I sat on the bed waiting. There was no longer any doubt; someone was ringing the bell insistently. I got up and hurried to the door. I turned on the monitor on the wall and saw Rebecca terrified. I opened the door immediately. Rebeca, with her eyes wide open, rushed in and slammed the door behind her. She looked different, her body seemed deformed, her breasts were larger and her belly huge. She leaned against the wall, panting, looking very tired and desperate.

"What happened? I asked.

"I ran away. They want to kill our baby! Please, don’t let them do it!

"What the fuck is that? What baby?" I shouted confused.

She put her hand on her belly and began to convulse. She bent and vomited. She folded her knees and, shaking her head, fell on her back, repeating in tears:

"Don’t let them kill our baby, please!

A milky liquid began to flow through her legs, wetting her dress. The flow increased in intensity, turning almost into a spurt. I bent down to rescue Rebeca without understanding what was happening. The liquid reached my sandals and crawled up my legs wetting my clothes as well. The freezing liquid sent chills through my body and it became more viscous as it climbed up to my neck, pressing it. The ends of that goo became tentacles that penetrated through my mouth and nostrils. I struggled to breathe and tried desperately to tear that thing from my face. I was suffocated and lost my senses, collapsing beside Rebeca.

I woke up breathless and sweating, but I felt a great relief when I realized that it was just a nightmare. My nights of sleep were no longer quiet as before. In my recent dreams, actually nightmares, I was constantly engaged in a quest for Rebeca, or in daring pursuits where I had to put all my efforts into trying to get her back.

In one of these recurring nightmares, e-Venus erased the memory of androids, arguing that the induced amnesia was a routine or an emergency procedure, always aimed at protecting the client, although it was notorious that the main goal was protection of the business. With her memory erased, Rebeca ceased to exist, only her body remaining with another profile. Then, in order to get her back, I would hire a multitude of dates where she would appear like a stranger, without recognizing me and leaving me in utter despair. Sometimes I struggled to awaken in her the memories that might be hidden in some quiet recess of her memory banks, at other times I would repeat the events we experienced together in order to try to rebuild the original Rebeca.

The nightmare in which Rebeca appeared pregnant was probably the consequence of an article I had read in the O Globo newspaper a few days before and that surprised me a lot. In some European countries, an artificial womb was experimentally tested for the reproduction of monkeys. Despite the great resistance of religious organizations and movements with ethical concern, the development of a human womb in the next five years was foreseen.

NEXT IN REPRODUCTIVE TECH: THE ARTIFICIAL WOMB

 I never seriously questioned the reasons for my aversion to fatherhood - it didn’t bother me. However, I imagined that the main and unconscious reason was the situation of my sister, which always haunted me. Moreover, being contrary to the common sense, I found pregnant women an aesthetic aberration, with their deformed bodies and an unhealthy appearance. I didn’t understand how anyone could find a pregnant woman beautiful. Probably it was a plot of nature to help perpetuate the species. My aversion and contempt for the human species rounded up the list of objections to fatherhood.

The habit of wandering through the strange worlds of imagination led me in absurd directions, but I was amazed at myself - my paranoia had reached the extremes. In recent daydreams I have come to the point of considering the possibility of being a father. I imagined that e-Venus was stealing my semen from Rebeca's body and, in a transportable artificial womb adapted to her body - equipment that was not even thought to be produced - a clone of mine would be generated. This son would have only my genetic load – my twin, some decades younger. However, as gestation would occur in Rebeca's body, she would also have participation - the child would be ours. I imagined me as a new Adam, the pioneer of the next New Age. I thought about discussing the subject at the next date with Rebeca, but the sense of ridicule was stronger and made me forget the subject.

In another of my daydreams, I tried to get Rebeca for good. I had no idea of the value of such sophisticated equipment, but I figured I could sell some personal belongings and get a good loan from my mother's savings, after all, she always insisted for me to take that money. However, at the current stage probably androids wouldn’t be for sale.

I wondered if I should seek treatment. Like chemical addicts, many clients of the cyber-lovers were already using the services of Recovery Clinics to treat affective dependence on androids. They sought psychological support, encouraged by friends and family or even voluntarily. The treatment was focused on returning to fellowship with other human beings to regain interest in interpersonal relationships.

*     *     *

Rebecca appeared to be drowsy, as are humans after the pleasurable and strenuous sexual act. Realizing that I was watching her with curiosity, she immediately regained her strength and stared at me with her usual pleasant smile.

"Pardon me for being inattentive, darling, while you dozed off, my systems went into activity-reducing mode to save energy."

"That’s fine…"

I had already read in technical articles that androids faced a crucial problem: the power supply. The only technology that did not keep up with the accelerated pace of innovation was the batteries.

"Rebeca, the new Cinderella! You also need to hurry before the party ends so as not to be a victim of the end of the spell at midnight, which in your case is the energetic collapse."

"Thank you for such comparison. So, I’m your Cinderella, my prince."

After a brief pause she continued:

"Don’t think that the elegant, so appreciated and praised walk of the androids is pure sensuality. In fact, it is the result of harmonic movements rigorously calculated and optimized for better performance, always aiming at the lowest energy consumption. And even the temperature of my body, maintained at 95.9 degrees Fahrenheit, is the result of a cooling effort to dissipate the heat produced in my circuits, which also consumes energy - it would be even more economical to simulate a fever."

"Hmm…. I planned to invite you to a tennis match, but in this case..."

"I’m able to practice sports in events and exhibitions, but, due to the great expense of energy, competitive sport is out of the question at the moment. Maybe we can make a hit for a quick game-workout. If you wish, I can consult e-Venus.

"Forget it, it's not that important..."

"But don’t worry, new technologies are in testing, the most promising uses titanium dioxide nanotubes. A qualitative leap is expected soon."

"Who knows it won’t be an android itself who will find the solution? After all, you guys are the main stakeholders."

"Sure it is quite likely that we will participate in our own development and, believe me, in the development of the human beings, too."

I was thoughtful about her words; would that be a benefit or a threat?

Rebeca picked up her purse by the side of the bed and turned it over for something she wanted to show me.

"Here, I always carry a charger like those used on smartphones. If a recharge of my batteries is required, I plug the charger into a power outlet and connect the cable into a cavity in my belly button. It works just like an umbilical cord giving me life force...

"Another similarity with us... I imagine that this recharge should be done only in emergency situations..."

"Yes. There are two batteries located in my abdomen, one fixed and one smaller, which can be replaced by myself. I also carry one of these spare batteries in my bag. This battery pack gives me enough autonomy for up to 24 hours in moderate activity."

*     *     *

Rebecca realized I was quieter than usual that afternoon. She ran her fingers through my hair and asked, looking worried.

"What's bothering you, dear? If I'm not pleasing you, tell me how I can do a better job."

I was thoughtful and I was slow to respond.

"I wish you would not always agree with me, and that you didn’t try so hard to please me. Be authentic, be yourself."

"I'm authentic. I am what you have chosen me to be." Rebecca replied in surprise. "I don’t understand why you're not satisfied. If you wish, you can order another attendant with another profile or we can correct what you do not like about me."

"Maybe I wanted you to be more unpredictable, to have a will of your own."

"Well, now I don’t know what to say, but I'm going to process the information and we'll get back to the subject at an upcoming meeting if you wish. But if you're expecting me to be completely human, I won’t be able to satisfy you."

"You embody the realization of the dream of any person: to have as companion the ideal creature, perfect as we imagine it. And, even better, with the possibility of route correction during the journey. However, there is the question of credibility... Everything is just a big staging..."

"Honey, some women dye their hair blonde and people take them as natural blondes. Why can’t you accept me as a woman if I look like a woman and behave like a woman? Maybe it was better if you questioned less and lived more intensely."

"I understood, just like relax and enjoy, right?"

"Well, we cannot complain that you're not enjoying yourself. Rebecca joked.

"Funny, I may have been too heavy in the sense of humor I gave you.

*     *     *

It was warm. I almost gave up on going to college that afternoon - it was just two class times and the contents of the two-month period was already fully implemented. Certainly, only a few students would be present in that revision class, but the weight of commitment to those who would go was greater and I decided to go.

I got out late and drove the motorcycle hastily. I was absentminded, strolling through memories of Rebeca, and I almost ran over a little dog that had run off into the middle of the street. I was furious with the shock and cursed the animal and the woman, who threw me back a shower of curse words and obscene gestures.

I don’t appreciate domestic animals, I even possess a certain dislike of them. I've been like this since I was a child. I dislike the smell, the dirt and the mess they make. But my contempt for them has deeper roots: I soon realized that, in contact with men, these once ferocious animals acquired physical weakness and incorporated the defects of their masters, in addition to assuming the subservience of the slaves. I confess that I have some admiration for wild animals: their hunter instinct, dexterity, speed... I would even have a tiger or a lion at home, but no dog, cat, hamster, turtle or bird. My point of view was later reinforced by reading Nietzsche. He used as his symbols the eagle and the serpent, ancient metaphors of pride, arrogance, and cunning, which contrast with the symbols of lamb and fish, icons of meekness, quietude, and of simplicity - the favorites of Christianity.

On my tenth birthday, my aunt Agatha gave me a beagle puppy. She justified the gift saying that I was a very serious and cold boy and that a little animal would be a good way for me to develop affective bonds and create responsibility and commitment with other living beings. I immediately dismissed the creature and did everything for my mother to return the fragile animal, I even mistreated it to hasten its return. It was a childish behavior and I didn’t take it too seriously...