Chapter III: The Black King

"I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come"

Genesis 17:19

"Petrosian knew how to detect and avoid the danger 20 moves before it." 

Grandmaster Bobby Fischer

Chapter III: The Black King

ISAAC de Almeida Krieger, that's my name. The surname Krieger came with my paternal grandfather, a Jew; Almeida came with my maternal grandfather from Portugal. For different reasons, both immigrated to Brazil from Europe after World War II. I was born on May 27, 1991 in Laranjeiras, one of the nicest neighborhood in Rio, where I lived until I left my parents' house.

Since childhood, I had few friends and enjoyed being alone. I used to distract myself with daydreams about marvelous adventures stimulated by the reading of epics from classical and science fiction literature and from the taste for technological achievements. My family and the few colleagues considered me as cold and calculating as my father. But they did not know me: I am extremely emotional - a characteristic that I believe I inherited from my mother and that I try to control or at least hide it.

Even with little dedication to the studies, I always stood out with good scores in all disciplines. The tests seemed so easy, it was as if the answers were already there, invisible to others, and I should just transcribe them. Classes did not hold my attention because the content taught was too simple. I assimilated the information and understood the concepts instantly and I was amazed with the difficulty of others in doing the same. It was as if they were blind, and I was the only one who could see. I used to sabotage myself. I did not use all my knowledge, thinking it would be an unfair dispute. I felt like a cheater for being so far ahead of my classmates and amused myself by leaving blank or incomplete answers, frustrating the teachers who were waiting for another one hundred percent hits. I did not want to be labeled as the nerd who always aced the tests. It was tedious to attend classes so backward, but the School regulations did not allow me to take advanced classes because they believed that the lack of maturity would make adaptation difficult and would have undesirable consequences in the future, my parents agreed.

Since the first grades I taught my classmates the most complex content. My parents were proud of how easily I explained even to adults what I've learned. However, I often lost my temper and I was annoyed by people's slowness of reasoning, which contributed even more to my isolation.

The ease of expressing myself, coupled with people's need for someone to explain things to them, naturally led me to the practice of teaching. The satisfaction of transmitting knowledge did not derive from vocation, nor from any altruistic virtue, such as charity, love of neighbor, or any crap like this. On the contrary, it was a result of the scorn I felt for people who were nothing more than a challenge to be overcome: the challenge of bringing understanding to the mediocre, and especially to the imbeciles. I considered myself a guide of the blind. If I could not get an individual to understand something, no one else would. I liked to see the sparkle in their eyes, the smile on their face when they understood, usually something so banal, but to them it was as if they had discovered the theory of relativity before Einstein. That's how I became a teacher. And I've always been considered the best teacher by the classes I've been through.

I did not share with anyone my convictions about people and life, not even with my grandparents or my mother, who were the closest and most trusted people to me. By doing so, I avoided being labeled as smug and arrogant. Although I did not care what people thought about me, I would rather not expose myself unnecessarily and avoid conflict.

At the age of sixteen, I started my degree in mechatronics engineering at UERJ, but little by little, without even knowing for sure why, I lost interest in the course. I began to dedicate myself more willingly to the philosophy course which I attended simultaneously at UFRJ, until I completely abandoned Engineering in the third year. The fact brought a great commotion to my family, especially to my father.

I graduated in philosophy and soon I began to teach in secondary schools, mainly in the respected Sion School, position obtained as a retribution of a favor granted by a friend of my father. I was very reluctant to take the job - I did not want Mr Krieger's help for he was so critic of my professional choice and my lifestyle. Only the insistence of my mother could overcome my resistance.

Despite the lack of motivation and interest in any line of research, I started a Master's program shortly after graduation. I studied for lack of a better option to occupy myself and because I enjoyed the academic life. I concluded the Master's and I began to teach in PUC and Veiga de Almeida Universities, this time, with the positions conquered by my own merit. However I did not leave the Sion where I was teaching  in high school - I carried good memories of the school I studied and of the neighborhood where it was located where I lived for so many years. Moreover, I appreciated the contact with the questioning and daring spirit of young people.

*          *          *

I was worried. I wondered if I was once again infected by the "great evil". Sure I was. I was in love, which was obviously a tragedy.

Since I was a teenager, I had fallen in love several times and the pattern was always the same: an impossible relationship. Women are too fickle and emotional - creatures of difficult coexistence, but I could not stay for long without getting involved with them. At twelve, I was a victim of this disease for the first time - a mad fixation on the literature teacher - so sweet, so beautiful, and almost thirty years older ... It happened at the end of a school year and the Christmas and the New Year’s Eve contributed to my feeling of abandonment and contempt. She did not return the following year, leaving the school and taking a piece of my heart with her. It soon regenerated when the classes resumed, but the memory of this first anguish still stirs my emotions. The next time, I lovesick for a classmate's girlfriend. I could not help the needy, solicitous glances at the girl. This time, I ended up with a black eye and being a laughing stock.

I especially fell in love with women who did not correspond to me - because they were not interested in me or because they were already well committed. On the other hand, the many women I dated, including my ex-fiancée, did not awaken in me any intense feeling, nothing but physical attraction. I did not understand why it was like this.
I considered these periodic relapses of passionateness a weakness. A kind of illness with flu-like symptoms: loss of appetite, moodiness, difficulty in concentrating, disinterest and, especially, loss of reason. Fortunately, as in the case of the flu, the period of illness and convalescence was not too long - after a few weeks it was fully recovered.

I was aware of the absurdity of involvement with Rebeca. She was an object and existed for my pleasure and for whom was willing to pay. I was tormented by the passion that consumed me: more absurd than having sex with a machine, was being in love with one of them.

Isaac and Rebeca, it was ironic... According to the Torah, the sacred book of the Jewish religion, Isaac and Rebeca were chosen by Jehovah with the mission of constituting the nation of the Hebrews, the chosen people for the Savior's offspring. Rebeca told me that she had also noticed the coincidence between the names, but she had not found enough reason to dismiss the indication received, apparently the result of a random search in a dictionary of names. Moreover, her autonomy only allowed her to change a indication of the System if there was strong reason, as in cases that involved risks to her security.

Meeting Of Isaac And Rebeca - painting by Andrea Vaccaro (8 May 1604 – 18 January 1670)

Today, I doubt that the choice of her name was really fortuitous, it had probably been deliberately decided on the e-Venus computer mazes, as a joke, or, more likely, to favor the customer's empathy.

The bell rang. I felt a sudden joy followed by disappointment - this time it would not be Rebeca. I remembered that Eliezer, the only acquaintance who still sought my companionship, had insisted on paying a visit that afternoon, vehemently refusing my arguments to avoid the meeting. At the time, I had little contact with him, usually just by telephone, because of the lack of opportunity or more likely because I did not create them, and even avoided them.

Discouraged, I opened the door.

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